


Vigilantestuck

by PeregrineWilliams



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Alternate Universe - No Sgrub Session, Illustrated, Multi
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-05-06
Updated: 2013-05-06
Packaged: 2017-12-10 13:36:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,181
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/786631
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PeregrineWilliams/pseuds/PeregrineWilliams
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Your name is TEREZI PYROPE, LEGISLACERATOR. At least, during the day. You have a particularly strong affinity for JUSTICE, so much so that merely UPHOLDING THE LAW and PROCECUTING IN COURT does not satisfy you. More recently, at night you have been known as the RED DRAGON, serving up JUSTICE in a more PHYSICAL SENSE to those who fall beyond the jurisdiction of a LEGISLACERATOR. You would suppose that you are basically the superhero DAREDEVIL, but you do not know who that is.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Act 1, Part 1

 

* * *

 

_VIGILANTESTUCK: ACT 1_   
  
_== > Answer Sollux_

TA: hey RD, you sure about thii2?  
  
GC: Y3P.  
  
TA: just cau2e, you know what wiill happen if you’re captured by hiim.  
  
GC: Y3S, BUT 1 WON’T B3  
  
GC: NOTH1NG C4N ST4ND 1N TH3 W4Y OF JUST1CE >:]  
  
GC: TH3R3 1S D3F1N4T3LY SOM3TH1NG GO1NG ON H3R3 4ND 1 W1LL G3T TO TH3 BOTTOM OF 1T  
  
TA: iit’2 not that ii’m doubtiing your abiiliity,  
  
TA: but ii’m doubtiing your abiiliity.  
  
TA: you haven’t been doiing thii2 for very long and thii2 ii2 kiind of a biig deal.  
  
GC: 1TS JUST SURV31LL4NC3 SOLLUX, S3R1OUSLY  
  
TA: codename2!!  
  
GC: OH R1GHT  
  
GC: *C4STOR3S  
  
TA: jeeze RD. ii’m 2eriiou2. iif you go down ii’m not comiing wiith you.  
  
GC: Y3S YOU W1LL  
  
TA: okay yeah ii wiill. but ii won’t be happy about iit.  
  
GC: TRUST M3  
  
GC: 1LL B3 1N 4ND OUT 1N L3SS TH4N T3N M1NUT3S 4ND TH3Y WONT SUSP3CT 4 TH1NG  
  
TA: ugh.  
  
TA: yeah fiine.  
  
TA: you know ii’ll be watchiing your back from every camera on the block though.  
  
GC: WOULDNT H4V3 1T 4NY OTH3R W4Y <>  
  
TA: go on already or you’ll miiss your wiindow.  
  
TA: <>  
  
  
 _== > go on already_

__

_== > Enter Name_

__

_Your name is TEREZI PYROPE, LEGISLACERATOR. At least, during the day. You have a particularly strong affinity for JUSTICE, so much so that merely UPHOLDING THE LAW and PROCECUTING IN COURT does not satisfy you. More recently, at night you have been known as the RED DRAGON, serving up JUSTICE in a more PHYSICAL SENSE to those who fall beyond the jurisdiction of a LEGISLACERATOR. You would suppose that you are basically the superhero DAREDEVIL, but you do not know who that is. SOLLUX CAPTOR is your PARTNER in both your daily and nightly endeavors, and is one of only two trolls who know of your ESCAPADES. He is also your MOIRAIL and TECH SUPPORT._

__

_== > Infiltrate_

__

_Recently you have noticed an increase of modified-sopor-slime (MSS) addicts on the streets. You have prosecuted many dealers already, but more than a few have been getting off too easily for your liking and ruining your 100% maximum-sentence record. You can’t have that. You suspect some funny business. You also have a suspect for this suspected funny business._

_== > Eavesdrop_

__

WORTHLESS SCUM  
  
i give you one job  
  
ONE JOB  
  
and still you disappoint me  
  
CAUGHT IN THE ACT BY THE TEAL BLOOD  
  
do you know how much profit we lost to pay off the judge?  
  
YOU WILL EARN IT BACK OR YOU WILL PAY IT WITH YOUR VERY BONES

__

_Well that was convenient. Your hunch was correct, though you’re still disgusted by the fact that the Grand Highblood of the Subjuggulator Church, spokestroll for the Mirthful Messiahs and pretty much head of the city, was apparently head of the black market MSS business as well. You do not envy his blue-blood agents right now. A toothy grin splits your lips despite yourself._  
  
You got what you needed. You abscond to meet up with your moirail and plan how to prove it.

__

_That’s weird. He doesn’t usually call you unless you’re a safe distance away._

_== > Answer Sollux_

TA: YOU’VE GOT COMPANY

 

__

  
_It can’t be…_   
  
_You haven’t seen her since you were six sweeps old._

  
_== > Enter name_

_VRISKA SERKET, the manipulative spider troll who blinded you, and who you repaid with the loss of an arm and an eye. That was back in your FLARPing days. By the smell of things, she’s become a bounty hunter or hit-troll of sorts for the black market, not that you should be particularly surprised. You hope she doesn’t recognise you in your disguise. You designed it specifically to hide your blood colour._  
  
  
  
Slimy lizard clim8ing around in the vents.  
  
Well, you’re caught in my we8 now!!!!!!!!  
  
L3T M3 GO  
  
Nope. I know you saw stuff, and these 8ozos pay me enough that I don’t want it to get out. What you gonna do a8out it?  
  
L1Z4RDS 34T SP1D3RS  
  
Oooooooo feisty. A8out time someone tried to stand up to me-  
  
  
 _== > Deliver a swift kick to your assailant to show them who’s boss!_

__

 

_== > Abscond_

__

Heh. Good game.  
  
8ut this is far from over.  
  
I will find you.

__

_== > Go home_

__

_== > Face moirail_

__

TZ! You promii2ed!

H3Y H3Y  
  
1 D1DNT ST4RT 1T 4ND 1 4BSCOND3D 4S QU1CKLY 4S POSS1BL3  
  
FOR YOU  
  
1 COULD H4V3 T4K3N H3R  
  
2tupiid.  
  
2he would have used her magiic diice or miind voodoo in the next miinute and beaten you two a pulp  
  
W3LL 1TS 4 GOOD TH1NG 1 4BSCOND3D TH3N!  
  
1TS JUST 4 CUT STOP FR34K1NG OUT  
  
the poiint ii2 that they know you were there now, and they wiill be lookiing for you iin and out of the co2tume.  
  
we have two be careful iin court now.  
  
you can’t reveal that you know two much or they’ll iimmediately 2u2pect you.  
  
and by extentiion me.  
  
1 KNOW 1 KNOW  
  
1LL B3 C4R3FUL  
  
ugh.  
  
…  
  
2o that was really VS?  
  
…  
  
Y34H  
  
did 2he recogni2e you?  
  
1 DONT TH1NK SO  
  
a2 your moiiraiil ii mu2t a2k iif you are okay.  
  
you guy2 kiind of have a convoluted hii2tory two 2ay the lea2t.  
  
…  
  
1M F1N3  
  
you 2ure?  
  
Y3S  
  
well good becau2e we have two be iin court iin four hour2.  
  
take off that riidiiculou2 outfiit and get 2ome 2leep.  
  
MY OUTF1T 1S 4M4Z1NGLY STYL1SH 4ND TH3 MOST D3L1C1OUS SH4D3 OF C4NDY R3D  
  
yeah yeah, ju2t don’t 2tart liickiing your2elf agaiin  
  
now 2hoo

==>2hoo

  
  
==> Be in court in four hours

 


	2. Act 1, Part 2

_== > Be in court in four hours_

_Your next case starts in five minutes. It’s another MSS dealer. This one was caught trying to bully a Ms. Pexies into buying some, apparently without realising she was the Heiress. Idiot. You’ll be pushing for the death penalty as customary._

__

_Oh wonderful. You forgot. Possible death sentence means they bring in the threshecutioner, his dopey moirail GAMZEE MAKARA along for the ride (who you have suspicions about). Well, as abrasive as KARKAT VANTAS ~~can be~~  always is you actually find him pretty freaking adorable and you have much evidence to suspect him of harboring flushed feelings for you. You are waiting for him to stop being such a cluckbeast and say it to your face though. In the meantime your moirail and yourself consider it one of your most enjoyable pastimes to rile him up at every opportunity. He’s just so fun._   
  
_== >Tag team_

__

GAMZEE: WhAt Be GoInG oN fRiEnDs?  
  
SOLLUX: 2up GZ, KK.  
  
KARKAT: OH GREAT IT’S YOU TWO.  
  
TEREZI: GOOD MORN1NG TO YOU TOO K4RKL3S  
  
KARKAT: STOP CALLING ME THAT.  
  
TEREZI: GOT TH3 G4LLOWS S3T UP?  
  
KARKAT: OF COURSE I DO.  
  
KARKAT: IT’S NOT LIKE THE SESSION IS GOING TO BE OVER THAT QUICKLY THOUGH.  
  
KARKAT: FREAKING ARROGANT GRUBFISTED DOUCHEBAGS  
  
TEREZI: OH YOU M1GHT B3 SURPR1S3D H3H3H3  
  
SOLLUX: don’t underestiimate u2 KK  
  
SOLLUX: we do have a pretty 2oliid record iif you hadn’t notiiced.  
  
KARKAT: YEAH WHATEVER. IT WON’T HELP IF YOU’RE COCKY ABOUT IT.  
  
KARKAT: AND WHAT I *NOTICED* IS THAT YOU’VE BEEN SLIPPING UP A BIT RECENTLY.  
  
TEREZI: OH W3R3 WORK1NG ON TH4T >:]  
  
KARKAT: OKAY I DON’T KNOW WHAT YOU’RE PLANNING AND I PROBABLY DON’T WANT TO KNOW.  
  
KARKAT: AND DON’T MAKE THAT FACE. IT’S CREEPY.  
  
KARKAT:WHAT HAPPENED TO YOUR UGLY MUG ANYWAYS?  
  
TEREZI: OH TH4T  
  
TEREZI: YOU’LL B3 H4PPY TO KNOW TH4T W3R3 G41N1NG SO MUCH NOTORI3TY TH4T W3R3 G3TT1NG 4SS4SS1N4T1ON 4TT3MPTS  
  
SOLLUX: iit wa2 pretty spectacular actually.  
  
KARKAT: …  
  
KARKAT: YOU’RE MESSING WITH ME.  
  
TEREZI: NOP3  
  
KARKAT: SOMEONE TRIED TO KILL YOU?  
  
GAMZEE: ThAt AiN’t CoOl.  
  
SOLLUX: you 2hould 2ee the other troll.  
  
KARKAT: YOU’RE ACTUALLY SERIOUS?  
  
KARKAT: … BUT YOU’RE OKAY?  
  
TEREZI: 1M H3R3 T4LK1NG TO YOU 4R3N’T 1?  
  
GAMZEE: MiRaClEs.  
  
KARKAT: WHO WAS IT?  
  
SOLLUX: none of your bu2iine22.  
  
KARKAT: ARE YOU FREAKING KIDDING ME?  
  
KARKAT: WHY NOT?  
  
TEREZI: WHAT WOULD YOU DO W1TH TH3 1NFORM4T1ON?  
  
KARKAT: WELL I  
  
KARKAT: YOU  
  
KARKAT: I  
  
SOLLUX: you would do 2omethiing 2tupiid.  
  
KARKAT: I WOULD NOT.  
  
TEREZI: Y3S YOU WOULD  
  
SOLLUX: iit’2 a pretty prediictable cour2e of actiion con2iideriing your track record.  
  
SOLLUX: even GZ know2 that.  
  
GAMZEE: SoRrY bEsT fRiEnD.  
  
KARKAT: SUCK MY BULGE.  
  
TEREZI: OH LOOK 4T TH3 T1M3  
  
TEREZI: JUST1C3 OCLOCK  
  
SOLLUX: 2ee you at the executiion KK, GZ.  
  
TEREZI: TH4NK YOU FOR YOUR CONC3RN >:]  
  
KARKAT: I HOPE YOUR DEATHS ARE LONG AND PAINFUL.  
  
KARKAT: IN THE FIERY DEPTHS OF THE JUGGALO UNDERWORLD.  
  
TEREZI: BY3 K4RKL3S

KARKAT: … TEREZI?  
  
TEREZI: HMM?  
  
KARKAT: …DON’T ACTUALLY DIE OKAY?  
  
KARKAT: AND  
  
KARKAT: GOOD LUCK.  
  
TEREZI: 1 WONT N33D 1T >:]

==> Legislacerator ownage  
  
  
  
SOLLUX: aww yeah. record tiime.  
  
TEREZI: W3LL 1T D1D H3LP TH4T TH3 H31R3SS H3RS3LF W4S T3ST1FY1NG  
  
FEFERI: Oh, w)(ale, you s)(ouldn’t be so modest. T)(ere is a reason w)(y I was recommended you after all. Did you really )(ave to go for t)(e krill t)(oug)(?  
  
TEREZI: OF COURS3! 3V3N 1F 1T W4SN’T YOU 1 WOULD H4V3. W3 N33D SCUM L1K3 TH4T OFF TH3 STR33TS, TRY1NG TO PO1SON TH3 POPUL4T1ON.  
  
FEFERI: I suppose.  
  
SOLLUX: crap. douchefiin at 3 o’clock.

ERIDAN: fef  
  
ERIDAN: are you okay  
  
ERIDAN: did these filthy peasantbloods mess up your case  
  
ERIDAN: they did didnt they i kneww it ill take care of it myself-  
  
FEFERI: —ERIDAN! *sigh* T)(ey did fintastically. Clam down.  
  
SOLLUX: get lo2t fii2hbreath.  
  
TEREZI: *sigh*  
  
ERIDAN: insolent f-  
  
FEFERI: ——-ERIDAN! I was just about to leave anyways. Let’s go, s)(oal we?  
  
ERIDAN: … if you say so fef  
  
FEFERI: I do. T)(ank-you very much Ms. Pyrope, Mr. Captor.  
  
ERIDAN: *grunt*  
  
SOLLUX: no problem.  
  
TEREZI: YOU 4R3 V3RY W3LCOM3, H31R3SS, BUT YOU 4R3 NOT ST4Y1NG FOR TH3 B3ST P4RT?  
  
FEFERI: T)(e execution? O)(, glub no. No, I don’t t)(ink so.  
  
ERIDAN: aww but fef  
  
FEFERI: No. Farewhale.

S34DW3LL3RS  
  
well, GH probably diidn’t giive u2 any trouble iin court today becau2e they were there.  
  
1 GU3SS  
  
W3LL L3TS GO  
  
uh  
  
hey TZ, miind iif ii 2kiip out on thii2 one two?  
  
WH4T? WHY?  
  
oh ii ju2t wanted two double check 2ome 2tuff down iin the eviidence room.  
  
>:[ P3RJURY!  
  
YOUR3 GO1NG TO S33 TH3 RUST BLOOD 1N FOR3NS1CS  
  
… we’re not iin court you can’t accu2e me of that.  
  
H3H3H3 F1N3 YOU C4N GO FL1RT 4ND L34V3 M3 4LL 4LON3 TO D34L W1TH MCSHOUTY 4ND TH3 CLOWN  
  
good friiend. be2t moiiraiil.  
  
  
 _== > Get some leads_

__

TEREZI: H3Y K4RKL3S  
  
KARKAT: DON’T CALL ME THAT.  
  
TEREZI: WH3R3S MR PLUMB3RRY?  
  
KARKAT: IN THE TOP BOX WITH HIS ANCESTOR.  
  
TEREZI: … C4N 1 T4LK TO YOU 4BOUT SOM3TH1NG?

KARKAT: HUH?  
  
KARKAT: OH, YEAH… ABOUT WHAT?  
  
TEREZI: YOUR MO1R4IL  
  
KARKAT: OH.  
  
KARKAT: OKAY.  
  
TEREZI: …  
  
TEREZI: K4RK4T DO YOU KNOW WHO H1S D34L3R 1S?  
  
KARKAT: WHAT?! NO!  
  
KARKAT: HE’S NOT-  
  
KARKAT: HE’S JUST *LIKE* THAT HE’S NOT-  
  
TEREZI: >:[ YOUR3 NOT FOOL1NG 4NYON3 K4RKL3S  
  
TEREZI: H3S ON MSS 1SNT H3?  
  
KARKAT: I DON’T-  
  
TEREZI: >:[  
  
KARKAT: OKAY YEAH MAYBE HE IS BUT I DON’T KNOW WHERE HE GETS IT OR AYTHING, I SWEAR. BESIDES, HE KIND OF… NEEDS IT.  
  
TEREZI: 1RR3L3V3NT  
  
TEREZI: 1T 1S 4N 1LL34G4L SUBST4NC3  
  
TEREZI: 1 W4NT TH3S3 D34L3RS OFF TH3 STR33TS  
  
TEREZI: 1F YOU PROV1D3 T3ST1MONY 1 W1LL NOT PURSU3 4 C4S3 4G41NST MR M4K4R4  
  
KARKAT: I DON’T KNOW ANYTHING.  
  
TEREZI: V3RY W3LL  
  
KARKAT: WAIT, YOU’RE NOT GOING TO TRY AND INTERROGATE GAMZEE ARE YOU?  
  
TEREZI: M4YB3  
  
KARKAT: OH CRAP CRAP CRAP PLEASE DON’T HE’S NOT GOING TO HANDLE SOMETHING LIKE THAT VERY WELL.  
  
TEREZI: 1M JUST GO1NG TO 4SK H1M SOM3 QU3ST1ONS  
  
KARKAT: TEREZI, I’M SERIOUS. YOU DON’T UNDERSTAND. HE HAS A…  
  
KARKAT: HE HAS A VERY DELICATE MENTAL STATE AND IF HE’S PRESSURED AT ALL HE MIGHT…  
  
KARKAT: SOMETIMES HE…  
  
KARKAT: WHEN HE SOBERS UP HE GETS VIOLENT TEREZI, AND SOMETIMES *I* CAN’T EVEN DO ANYTHING ABOUT IT AND I-  
  
TEREZI: 4R3 YOU WORRY1NG 4BOUT M3 4G41N K4RKL3S?  
  
KARKAT: STUPID NOOKSUCKER NO I JUST DON’T WANT HIM TO KILL ANYONE.  
  
TEREZI: G4MZ33? R34LLY? W3R3 T4LK1NG 4BOUT TH3 S4M3 TROLL WHO CR13D FOR 4N HOUR WH3N YOU H1T 4 M3OWB34ST WR1GGL3R W1TH YOUR GRUBMOB1L3 L4ST W33K R1GHT?  
  
KARKAT: HE’S *DIFFERENT* WHEN HE’S SOBER ALL RIGHT? YOU’VE SEEN HIS ANCESTOR, YOU KNOW WHAT HIGHBLOODS ARE ACTUALLY LIKE.  
  
TEREZI: >:/  
  
TEREZI: SO YOU K33P H1M DUMB3D DOWN 4ND DOC1L3 B3C4US3 1TS MOR3 CONV3N13NT FOR YOU?  
  
KARKAT: NO! IT’S NOT-  
  
KARKAT: YOU-  
  
KARKAT: YOU HAVE NO FREAKING IDEA WHAT YOU’RE TALKING ABOUT. DON’T YOU DARE TELL ME WHAT’S BEST FOR *MY* MOIRAIL.  
  
TEREZI:  _YOUR MO1R41L_  H4S B33N R3GUL4RLY P4RT4K1NG OF 4N 1LL34G4L SUBST4NC3 K4RK4T 4ND YOU 4R3 DO1NG NOTH1NG 4BOUT 1T  
  
KARKAT: I-  
  
KARKAT: SHUT UP.  
  
KARKAT: JUST SHUT UP TEREZI.  
  
KARKAT: LEAVE MY MOIRAIL ALONE AND GET OUT.  
  
KARKAT: I HAVE THRESHECUTIONING TO DO.  
  
TEREZI: 4ND 1 H4V3 L3G1SL4C3R4T1NG TO DO.

_You recite the charges of the accused to the audience. The Grand Highblood roars his consent along with the crowd, and Karkat pulls the lever. The blueblood thrashes around for a while before becoming still, and the group of lowbloods on the floor approach to strip him of his possessions. No respect for the dead in the courts of Alternia. As chaos ensues, you weave through the crowd and discretely make your way to the top box. Justice is the most important thing, and you will see the law upheld. You see Gamzee leaving, so you quickly get his attention and pull him into an empty side room, making sure Karkat isn’t around to see.  
  
==> Interrogate_

 

__

 

GAMZEE: HeYa TeReCiTa. WhAt'S gOiNg On? (o:  
  
TEREZI: NOTH1NG R34LLY  
  
TEREZI: 1 JUST W4NT TO 4SK YOU 4 F3W QU3ST1ONS  
  
GAMZEE: HaPpY tO oBlIgE sIsTeR.  
  
TEREZI: 3X3LL3NT  
  
TEREZI: NOW L3TS S33  
  
TEREZI: WOULD YOU H4PP3N TO 1NG3ST 4 C3RT41N SUBST4NC3 FR3QU3NTLY TH4T H4S 4 P4RT1CUL4R C4LM1NG 3FF3CT?  
  
GAMZEE: Do YoU bE sPeAkInG oF mY pIeS tErEcItA?  
  
TEREZI: YOUR P13S?  
  
GAMZEE: ThEy'Re MiRaClEs GiRl, MaKe YoU fEeL sO gOoD. gEt YoU aLl SpIrItUaL.  
  
TEREZI: T3LL M3 MOR3  
  
GAMZEE: WeLl, CaUsE, y'KnOw, YoU gEt ThE pUrPlE sTuFf AnD tHaT's A mIrAcLe AlL oN iTs OwN bUt It TaStEs EvEn BeTtEr In A pIe.  
  
TEREZI: 4ND TH1S PURPL3 STUFF 1S?  
  
GAMZEE: AwW gIrL iT's LiKe ThE gReEn StUfF yOu GeT yOuR rEsT oN iN bUt It'S pUrPlE aNd It GlOwS lIKe It'S gOt A bUnCh Of LiGhTnInGbEaStS tRaPpEd. LiKe I sAiD, a MiRAcLe.  
  
TEREZI: TH4T  _1S_  M1R4CULOUS  
  
TEREZI: NOW WH3R3 WOULD YOU H4PP3N TO OBT41N TH1S M1R4CL3?  
  
GAMZEE: AwW nAh TeReCiTa, ThAt ThErE's A sEcReT. i AiN't Be TeLlInG nObOdY.  
  
TEREZI: WHY? WH4T 1F 1 W4NT3D SOM3 TOO?  
  
GAMZEE: WeLl ThAt'S wHaT hE bE sAyInG gIrL iF eVeRyOnE bE kNoWiNg AbOuT tHe MiRaClEs EvErYbOdY bE wAnTiNg ThE mIrAcLeS aNd ThEn ThErE wOn'T bE nO mIrAcLeS lEfT.  
  
TEREZI: 'H3'  
  
TEREZI: SO YOU DO G3T TH3M FROM A TROLL  
  
GAMZEE: AwW sNaP. yOu Be ToO sMaRt FoR mE wIcKeD sIsTeR.  
  
TEREZI: 4ND DO YOU H4V3 TO G1V3 4NYTH1NG 1N 3XCH4NG3 FOR TH3 M1R4CL3S?  
  
GAMZEE: MoSt TiMeS a FeW bOoNbOnDs BuT mY gReAt SuBjUgGuLaToR aNcEsToR gOt ToNs Of ThOsE cOlLeCtInG dUsT aLl UsElEsS-lIkE.  
  
TEREZI: SO YOU T4K3 TH3M FROM H1M?  
  
GAMZEE: NaH hE jUsT gIvEs ThEm To Me. It'S fOr FaYgO mOsTlY.  
  
TEREZI: 4ND YOU S41D TH1S TROLL 4SKS FOR BOONBONDS 1N 3XCH4NG3 ‘MOST T1M3S’  
  
TEREZI: WH4T 4BOUT OTH3R T1M3S?  
  
GAMZEE: SoMe TiMeS hE JuSt WaNtS tO kNoW wHaT bE gOiNg On.  
  
TEREZI: SO YOU G1V3 H1M 1NFORM4T1ON  
  
GAMZEE: GuEsS yOu CoUlD sAy ThAt. I aIn’T gIvInG hIm NoThInG ‘cOnFiDeNtIaL’ oR tHe LiKe ThOuGh.  
  
TEREZI: YOU 4R3 G1V1NG H1M TH3 1NFORM4T1ON H3 R3QU1R3S THOUGH OR 3LS3 H3 WOULD NOT CONT1NU3 4SK1NG  
  
TEREZI: M1GHT 1 1NQU1R3 4S TO TH3 N4TUR3 OF TH3 1NFORM4T1ON?  
  
GAMZEE: GuEsS iT cOuLdN’t HuRt, ThOuGh I gOtTa SaY, iT’s MoSt TiMeS qUeStIoNs AbOuT yOu, TeReCiTa. SoMeTiMeS oThEr LeGiSlAcErAtOrS, bUt MoSt TiMeS yOu.  
  
TEREZI: … M3? WHY? WH4T K1ND OF QU3ST1ONS?  
  
GAMZEE: DoN’t GoT tHe KnOwInG tErEcItA. jUsT wAnTs To KnOw WhAt YoU bEeN uP tO, wHaT yOu’Re InVeStIgAtInG, sTaTuS oF yOuR cAsEs, ThE lIkE.  
  
TEREZI: …  
  
TEREZI: G4MZ33 1 N33D YOU TO T3LL M3 WHO TH1S TROLL 1S  
  
GAMZEE: No CaN dO tErEcItA.  
  
TEREZI: G4MZ33 1F H3S 4SK1NG 4BOUT M3 TH3N TH3R3S SOM3TH1NG 3LS3 GO1NG ON H3R3 4ND 1TS R34LLY 1MPORT4NT  
  
TEREZI: 1 N33D YOU TO T3LL M3  
  
GAMZEE: )o:  
  
GAMZEE: I dOn’T gEt No MoRe PiE iF i TeLl YoU gIrL, aNd I bE nEeDiNg My PiEs.  
  
TEREZI: BLUH BLUH BLUH SHUT UP 4BOUT YOUR STUP1D P13S  
  
TEREZI: TROLLS COULD B3 1N D4NG3R  
  
TEREZI: 1M PROB4BLY 1N D4NG3R  
  
TEREZI: 4ND SOM3ON3 N33DS 4 H34P1NG S3RV1NG OF JUST1C3  
  
GAMZEE: ThE mIrAcLe PiEs CoNnEcT mE tO tHe MeSsIaHs WiCkEd SiS. dOn’T yOu Be AlL uP iN tHe UnRiGhTeOuS bLaSpHeMy. ThErE aRe HiGhEr ThInGs ThAn JuStIcE.

TEREZI: L1K3 YOUR CLOWN GODS?  
  
TEREZI: H4  
  
TEREZI: TH3R3 1S NOTH1NG 1F NOT JUST1C3  
  
TEREZI: TH3 L4W  
  
TEREZI: TH3 L4W HOLDS TH3 WORLD TOG3TH3R  
  
TEREZI: K33PS TH3 CH4OS 4ND D3STRUCT1ON FROM W1P1NG OUT OUR SP3C13S  
  
GAMZEE: NoThInG wRoNg WiTh A lItTlE cHaOs GiRl. AnD dOn’T yOu Be FoRgEtTiNg WhO mAdE tHe LaW.  
  
TEREZI: TH3 ‘M1RTHFUL M3SS14HS’? DONT M4K3 M3 L4UGH.  
  
GAMZEE: NaH gIrL. tRoLlS. tRoLlS tHaT aIn’T nO hIgHeR tHaN yOu Or Me.  
  
GAMZEE: ain’t nothing that’s special about it.  
  
TEREZI: BLUH BLUH BLUH 1V3 HUMOUR3D YOU LONG 3NOUGH  
  
TEREZI: T3LL M3 WHO YOUR D34L3R 1S NOW YOU STUP1D CLOWN OR 1 SW34R 1 W1LL-  
  
GAMZEE: YOU’LL WHAT.

KARKAT: TEREZI?  
  
TEREZI: CR4P  
  
KARKAT: WHAT IN THE NAME OF THE MOTHER GRUB ARE YOU DOING.

GAMZEE: you listen here wicked sis.  
  
GAMZEE: YOU AIN’T GOT NO BUISNESS MESSING WITH-  
  
KARKAT: NO GAMZEE NO SHOOOOOSH  
  
KARKAT: IT’S OKAY, CALM DOWN. SHOOSH. CRAP. WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU HAD YOUR PIE?  
  
KARKAT: TEREZI GET THE HELL OUT OF HERE RIGHT NOW.  
  
TEREZI: BUT H3 W4S PROV1D1NG M3 W1TH-  
  
GAMZEE: I AIN’T FEEDING NOTHING IN YOUR FILTHY DISRESPECTING AURALS BABY GIRL  
  
GAMZEE: just you-  
  
KARKAT: SHOOOOOOSH  
  
KARKAT: IT’S OKAY GAMZEE, FORGET HER.  
  
GAMZEE: … I kNoW bEsT bRo.  
  
KARKAT: TEREZI GET OUT.

_CR4P  
  
==> Go home_

__

_  
_aww yeah.

who got a date?  
  
ii got a date.

TH4TS 4W3SOM3 SOLLUX  
  
oh man what’2 wrong.  
  
WH4T? NOTH1NG

TZ ii’m your moiiraiil. 2hut iit. time for a feeliing2 jam.

2o what happened?  
  
*sigh* 1 TR13D TO 1NT3RROG4T3 G4MZ33 TO F1ND OUT WHO H1S D34L3R 1S  
  
H3S D3F1N1T3LY ON MSS  
  
uh huh. well ii can’t iimagiine that workiing out very well. couldn’t you ju2t a2k KK?  
  
1 D1D  
  
H3 S41D H3 D1DNT KNOW WH3R3 H3 GOT 1T  
  
…  
  
H3 4LSO TOLD M3 NOT TO TRY 4ND G3T 1T OUT OF G4MZ33  
  
… but you diid anyway2. and KK blew a ga2ket. ah.  
  
TZ, iif you want hiim for a mate2priit, iit miight be a good iidea to not make hiim hate you.  
  
ii mean, tea2iing ii2 one thiing, but goiing behiind hii2 back and-  
  
1 KNOW 1 KNOW4ND 1 F33L R34LLY B4D FOR M4K1NG H1M SO 4NGRY 4ND UGH 1M GO1NG TO H4V3 TO 4POLOG1S3 BUT 1 R34LLY N33D3D SOM3 L34DS 4ND…  
  
TH4TS NOT TH3 TH1NG TH4TS BOTH3R1NG M3 TH3 MOST  
  
you manage to fiind out somethiing from GZ?  
  
1 C3RT41NLY FOUND OUT TH1NGS 4BOUT GZ  
  
… what kiind of thiing2?  
  
SOLLUX  
  
K4RK4T D1DNT W4NT M3 1NT3RROG4T1NG G4MZ33 B3C4US3 H3 W4S SC4R3D 1T WOULD SOB3R H1M UP AND H3 WOULD K1LL M3  
  
who? GZ?  
  
2eriou2ly?  
  
1 KNOW  
  
1 D1DNT B3L13V3 1T 31TH3R TH4TS WHY 1 W3NT 4LONG W1TH 1T 4NYW4YS  
  
1 GU3SS H3 R34LLY 1S 4 H1GHBLOOD SUBJUGGUL4TOR 4T H34RT  
  
TH3 MSS 1S TH3 TH1NG K33P1NG H1M P4SS1V3 4ND FR13NDLY  
  
so, the GZ we know ii2 not the real GZ.  
  
NOT 1N TH3 L34ST  
  
1 M34N 1 ST1LL H4V3 NO 1D34 WH4T H3 COULD B3 C4P4BL3 OF BUT 1 C4UGHT 4 GL1MPS3  
  
so tell me what happened already.  
  
1 DONT 3V3N KNOW HOW 1T 3SC4L4T3D SO QU1CKLY  
  
1 W4S 4SK1NG QU3ST1ONS 4ND 1T W4S F1N3 BUT TH3N H3 R3FUS3D TO T3LL M3 WHO H1S D34L3R W4S B3C4US3 OF H1S W31RD CLOWN R3L1G1ON 4ND W3 GOT 1NTO 4N 4RGU3M3NT 4BOUT TH3 1MPORT4NC3 OF TH3 L4W  
  
H3 JUST  
  
1 DONT KNOW  
  
H3 M4D3 M3 SO 4NGRY SO F4ST  
  
TH3N  
  
TH3N SUDD3NLY H3 W4S SOB3R 4ND H1S VO1C3 CH4NG3D 4ND-  
  
DONT YOU D4R3 T3LL 4NYON3-  
  
BUT TH3 W4Y H3 LOOK3D 4T M3 4T TH3 3ND W1TH TRU3 MURD3ROUS SUBJUGGUL4TOR 3Y3S ON H1S USU4LLY C4LM DOPY F4C3…  
  
1T SC4R3D M3  
  
wow.  
  
Y34H  
  
you are 2o black for hiim.  
  
SOLLUX  
  
WH4T  
  
1 4M NOT  
  
you 2o are. the whole iinterrogatiion took only a few miinute2 riight? not even VS could get you legiitiimately angry that quiickly, you mostly ju2t bantered.  
  
untiil 2he bliinded you, but that wa2 pretty extreme.  
  
1-  
  
you al2o talked about hii2 eye2.  
  
YOU-  
  
…  
  
OH  
  
… OH  
  
M4YB3 1 4M  
  
TH4TS  
  
TH4TS NOT 1MPORT4NT R1GHT NOW THOUGH  
  
TH3 TH1NG 1S TH4T NOW K4RK4T DO3SNT TRUST M3  
  
G4MZ33 COULD B3 4 R34L THR34T  
  
4ND 1 ST1LL N33D TO F1ND OUT WHO H1S D34L3R 1S  
  
OH  
  
4ND WHO3V3R TH3 D34L3R 1S 1S 4PP4R3NTLY K33P1NG T4BS ON MY L3G1SL4C3R4TOR 4CT1V1T13S  
  
whiich could mean that he ju2t doe2n’t want two be caught by you, or he’2 2u2piiciiou2 of your _other_  actiiviitiie2.  
  
3X4CTLY  
  
31TH3R W4Y H3S M4RK3D M3 4S 4 THR34T  
  
2o your plan ii2?  
  
SH4DOW G4MZ33 1N COSTUM3 4ND S33 1F H3 3V3NTU4LLY L34DS M3 TO H1S D34L3R  
  
that 2ound2 really rii2ky.  
  
BUT-  
  
ii know, ii know. “iit’2 for ju2tiice.”  
  
ii demand you get 2ome sleep fiir2t though. you’re all emotiional and off your game and you know iit. do not argue.  
  
F1N3  
  
ehehehehehe  
  
that’2 goiing two be  _really_  iintere2tiing iif iit happen2, haviing a kii2me2ii2 that’2 moiiraiil two your mate2priit.  
  
SHUT UP  
  
better get wiith KK quiick, becau2e ii’m 2ure not goiing two be giiviing you romantiic adviice, and you’re goiing to be neediing a lot of iit.  
  
SP34K1NG OF ROM4NC3… >: ?  
  
oh yeah. ii’ve got a date wiith AA on friiday. wow 2he ii2 great. you 2hould go apologii2e two KK and we could double.  
  
B3C4US3 TH4T WOULDN’T B3 4 GONG SHOW  
  
ehehehehe.  
  
iit would be fun though.  
  
H3H3H3H3 M4YB3 SOM3D4Y  
  
W3 COULD W4TCH ON3 OF K4RKL3S ROMCOMS  
  
perfect. ii’ll hold you two iit.  
  
*sigh*  
  
1T WOULD B3 PR3TTY FUN TO 4LL B3 4 F4M1LY L1K3 TH4T  
  
YOU M3 4R4D14 K4RK4T 4ND G4MZ33  
  
UNL3SS G4MZ33 H4T3S M3 OF COURS3  
  
ii dunno, that miight make iit even more fun.  
  
SHUT UP  
  
GOOD N1GHT SOLLUX  
  
good niight TZ.

 


	3. Act 1, Part 3

 

_The next night you begin your stakeout, waiting in the shadows outside the Makara-Vantas hive, which is pretty spectacular considering it is also the hive of the Grand Highblood. There are a few bluebloods about, and this time you make sure to keep your snout peeled for one blueblood in particular. You settle down and get comfy. This will probably take a while._

_== > Be Nubby-Horns McShouty_

_Your name is KARKAT VANTAS, thank-you very much, and you would advise anyone who calls you otherwise to shut their meatchute or risk a hard drubbing to the bone bulge. Oh. In a completely platonic way you mean. Crap. At least you didn’t say that one out loud._

_== > Change clothes_

_So anyways, you were hatched a MUTANTBLOOD, which is quite a problem considering your impending culling if you are found out by a highblood, added to the fact that you happen to live in a highblood hive. Your moirail keeps your secret and ats as insurance that no one else will risk snooping around because of his caste, but of course there are the other highbloods to worry about. You do your best to hide under the humble guise of a rustblood, symbol provided by a kind acquaintance, but it does mean that you are basically a free-for-all in the harassment department, as everyone is of a higher caste than you. Your highblood association leaves you at liberty to lash back verbally though, as other trolls quickly find out._

__

_Oh, but that’s not all. There’s also the association with your freaking nooksniffing ancestor that could get you culled a million times over. But you just can’t hate the guy, so you go visit him every chance you get and help out with his ‘charity.’ In secret of course. Not even your moirail knows about this part. It’s the only secret you’ve kept from him and it makes you feel incredibly guilty, not to mention nervous, as a rustblood wandering around the worse parts of the Capitol minus his highblood moirail from protection is a culling waiting to happen on its own. Basically, your life sucks bulge and you’re in danger 24/7._

__

_Your ancestor, who everyone just calls ‘The Signless’ since obviously he’s a mutantblood like you, lives and works from an old abandoned Mirthful Messiah’s chapel. It still looks abandoned from the outside, which he uses as a cover since everything that goes on inside is incredibly illegal._

__

_It is a refuge. Any troll of any caste is welcome and treated equally whether mustard- or indigoblood, and violence of any kind is not tolerated. It is complete insanity and goes against every troll custom there is and yet they all go along with it. Everyone is so freaking happy in there it makes you want to puke. It feels like your home._  
  
Mostly you try to help all the MSS addicts you’ve been getting lately to get back on their feet, or give out advice to all the whiners who come in crying about their relationship problems, since you are the freaking expert at that.

__

 

SIGNLESS: KARKAT!  
  
KARKAT: ARGH PUT ME DOWN STOP THAT.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (on hiatus im gomen)


End file.
